INSPIRATION: "fragility of goodness" martha nussbaum"

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWfK1E4L--c&w=420&h=315] watch this video or else read some'uh'duh good parts I transcribed below

18:45 thoughts after discussing the story of Hekuba -  "The condition of being good is that it should always be possible for you to be morally destroyed by something that you couldn't prevent.  To be a good human being, is to have a kind of openness to the world - an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control that can lead you to be shattered in very extreme circumstances - in circumstances that for which you are not yourself to blame.  I think this something really important about the condition of the ethical life that it is based on a trust in the uncertain, a willingness to be exposed - It's based on being more like a plant than like a jewel.  Something rather fragile, but whose particular beauty is inseparable from that fragility."

21:10 "Tragedy happens only when you are trying to live well.  For a heedless person who doesn't have deep commitments to others, Agamemnon's conflict isn't a tragedy.   Someone who is a bad person could go in and slaughter that child with equanimity or could desert all the men, let them die.  But it's when you are trying to live well and you deeply care about things you are trying to do that the world enters in in a particularly painful way. And it's in that struggle, with recalcitrant circumstances, that a lot of the value of the moral life comes in."

22:08 "The lesson certainly is not to try to maximize conflict, or to romanticize struggle and suffering.  But it's rather to see that you should care about things in a way that makes it a possibility that tragedy will happen to you. If you never trust any people, or if you don't trust the political setting, which is certainly something I see very often in my students, then it doesn't hurt you when things go badly. But you want to tell them to live their lives with such a seriousness of commitment that they're not adjusting their desires to the way the world actually goes, but they're trying to rest from the world, a good life, the good life that they desire. And sometimes this does lead them into tragedy."

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My compassion for others is partially rooted in the fear/understanding that I have, we all have, a breaking point. The possibility will always exist that I will lose my faith in humanity, but still I forgive.  I think I forgive, because not only have I been hurt, I have hurt others.  I've been hurt because I have made myself vulnerable and I hurt others in attempt to stay honest.  This Nussbaum interview made me realize my tendency to make myself vulnerable is rooted in my love and passion for life.  And maybe I forgive so much because people who are clumsy with themselves maybe have been hurt, because maybe they too have a passion for life and just need to be nurtured, like she said, a plant.  and maybe we're all in this together and it's our responsibility to tend to one another when we have the capacity, and everything is a mess and they're IS a point of no return - and someone can become so damaged that they cannot regain their faith in the world. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I know I am really glad for her and her thoughts and I want to read more about what she has to say.  I also am really excited about the story of Hekuba and would like to draw it out.  HAPPY FRIDAY

hypnopompic and my own hallucinations

I came across these beautiful weavings by Finnish designer/artist Kustaa Saksi in a blog post by Miss Moss.  Yes, they are trippy, and vibrant, yet subdued in a really appealing way, but the reason I had to catalogue them here is this quote/definition of the title of the series "Hypnopompic": "Hypnopompic refers to a state of sensory confusion leading out of sleep, when the state of awakening gets mixed with the dream world into a surreal reality. It is an exceptional state of consciousness, in which one may experience the presence of, or see creatures and animals, such as spiders, monkeys and insects. Hypnopompic state has also been affiliated with visual delusions caused by migraine. These graphic patterns, designs and textures are thought to have contributed to the traditions of ornamentation, mosaic and textile."

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For as long as I can remember, I have hallucinated (visual, auditorial, physical) while falling asleep and waking.  Even though I know now that it's a completely normal phenomenon (and symptom of narcolepsy) called "hypnogogic hallucination" that many a brilliant historical figure experienced in their day, I still sometimes feel a bit off my rocker (the fact that the only "famous person" I can think of off the top of my [wikipedia's] head who mentioned experiencing the phenomenon is Edgar Allen Poe does not plead my sanity case).

...But these weavings are so inspiring.  My hallucinations are sometimes terrifying (I've been told I cry), sometimes exhilarating, sometimes funny (I've been told I giggle), so duh, I don't know why I haven't already considered THEM "inspiring."  Apparently, some people even actively try and learn how to achieve them (like they do with lucid dreams...WHICH my visions have always lead right into--or out of)  I guess if anyone wants some tips just ask...But be forewarned: nothing is worse than having something really cool or beautiful or what-have-you in your possession during a dream you're controlling, only to wake and see it there! with you! in your bed! and then lose it to reality... Huge bummer for me as a kid.

Anyhoo, on an art note: these really jumped out at me because the most common things I see in my hypnogogic state are bugs, particularly spiders.  I have been trying to think of a way to tap into the whole weird dream thing for a good long while, and these are definitely inspiration in the right direction.  Also love the concept of weaving (a very feminine history which also references spiders--Mother Spider taught us to weave), meshing with my very physical painting style (rooted in the very macho action painters of the 50s)---little gender discussion about materiality there.  Also, the concept of "mother" as spider has been coming up a lot in my work lately.  ...AND the comments in the quote about mosaics makes me better understand my tendency towards pattern work and this sort of thing...  WHAT A SERENDIPITOUS FIND! THIS IS SO DENSE.  I'M SO EXCITED.